Family Expectations

What are family expectations?

Secondary school can be stressful for both students and their parents. You will be going through many new experiences in these four or five years, and spending more time away from your parents. Your parents may have certain things that they expect from you. This could be academic expectations, or just expectations on behaviour and how much time you spend at home. You may have your own opinions or challenges on these matters, and it may lead to conflict if both you and your parents have different expectations.

Your parents may, for example, expect you to come home immediately after school every day, but group projects and consultations with teachers may not make that possible. This may lead to tension at home when your parents feel that their expectations are not being met.

Incidents like this can cause you to feel frustrated especially if you feel that your parents do not understand what you are going through, or if you feel like you are unable to meet your parents’ expectations.

What can help?

It is important to communicate with your parents. Talk to them and tell them about the challenges you face in meeting their expectations. Ask them for their thought process behind some of their expectations. Discuss the expectations that they have of you, and try to come to an agreement about the expectations that they have.

You might find that you may need someone to help you mediate the discussion between you and your parents. Talk to an adult that you trust. This could be a grandparent or a teacher who could help mediate the discussion.